We are now on the cusp of Christmas. Only a few days away is the jolliest day of the year; a time when we spend memorable moments with family and friends, exchange beloved gifts, and indulge in bountiful feasts. For me this is the best of times, and the worst of times... I am a former addict.
Drugs were never anything I wanted any part of. Friends of mine would use drugs for recreation around me all of the time, but I never touched them... I never even wanted to. For me, alcohol was my only vice. I drank socially at first, but looking back, I can see that it was always at a slow and steady increase from the first drink. At my worst of times, I was easily drinking a half gallon of rum per day.
This will be only the second Christmas I have celebrated since I left drug rehab in California a few years back. Christmas is the toughest time for me, because I see so many friends and family that I haven't seen in a long time. Every one of those friends and family members drinks, and they especially like to drink during the holidays -- this poses many threats for me.
12 step recovery programs have taught me essential lessons for fighting temptations such as those I am about to face, but the holiday temptations can put even the strongest of wills to the test. What I truly have to do is put myself into a healthy and calm state of mind, and do my best to get through the holidays the best I can. Though I am confident in myself, and I know I will exercise every reserve I have, I still do get worried that the temptations will be too great, and I will end up back in 12 step addiction recovery.
So, as I prepare to travel across the country and brave my way through the holidays, I am placing my fate in God's hands, and asking for the strength to get through this, and continue with my sobriety.